Maudlin Obloquy

Wow, its been some time,
Haiku blog has been lonely
Its getting no love

fuck all y'all who hate
You go to hell and you die!
Fuck you Haiku hata

Things will be different
No Malapropos Haikus
Those have become cloy

HA! yeah fucking right
A good haiku? Lachrymose
I pity the foo!

Fuck The Alphabet!

a-b-c-d-e,
f-g-h-i-j-k-l,
m-n-o-p-q,

r-s-t-u-v,
w-x-y-and z,
that's the Alphabet

Over the Lazy
Dog, the quick brown fox did jump.
That's every letter.

Take a look at Q,
What a dumb looking letter,
It has a penis

V's, for vagina
Why you might ask? Just because,
It resembles one.

N is a pussy
It isn't even complete
three fourths of an M

I's not much better
Its barely half of an L
The word tittle sucks

One more left to hate,
That is C, Looks like an O
With a vagina.

Riddle Me This!

Who would have guessed it?
There were never any signs
Can’t possibly tell

It came as a shock
To all who have been informed
It has blown their mind

The said enigma
Although quiet for some time,
Recently been solved

Bet you’re wondering…
what it is! I’m addicted
To Video Games!

Friday Night

Went out with Karen
Out to hermosa sharkeez
For Happy Hour

From there a few left
JP, Jacquie, Jaime, Rob
went back to my place

Had tanq and tonic
Boozed at my house for a bit
left for manhattan

Made it to Sharkeez
Who did we see? Asian Chris
Going to black out

Second we saw him
He got us a pitcher of
More gin and tonic

Jaime got to be
one of the guest bartenders
She hooked it up huge

When I passed Jaime
she gave me a bunch of free
Long Island Ice teas

Can not believe it
Saw one of my exgirlfriends
She was really drunk

Made it home that night
Went to bed. When I got up
I had not blacked out!

Eloquence in Reverie

Ham ham I like ham!
I like ham 'cause I like ham!
I like ham ham ham!

My Birthday Bash!

Me plus twenty-four
Were at Club sushi, Friday
Don’t remember much

Much sushi was had
But that does not compare to
Amount of sake

Set up a shot glass
Balance it on two chopsticks
1, 2, 3- SAKE!



The chopsticks are on
A glass filled with Japanese
Beer, like Asahi

The dudes in my group
Went through about twenty bombs
A piece, god damnit

The bill got fucked up
We were short a bunch of dough
Big ups to Mike Block

Stumbled out of there
‘cross the street to Sangria
Entered in the back

We got hooked up phat
Asian Chris knows everyone
Got us all free shots

My memory fades
Especially when I saw
A tray of Jager

Chris got us about
20 full shots of Jager
It was on the house

After that came hell
Washington Red Apple shots
Too much alcohol

Its true what they say
Beer then liquor ne’er sicker
Me? Fucking wasted

A good time was had
I hope that others agree
All my friends are sweet

Bananas...a girls bestfriend

Bananas do have
Sucrose, fructose and of course
Glucose and fiber

PMS? Fuck Pills
Eat a banana it has
Vitamin B6

Bananas can help
Regulate anemia
through hemoglobin

Problems going poop?
As said before bananas
Have lots of fiber

Banana milkshake
Sweeten it up with honey
Cure for hangovers

Bananas have a
Natural antacid use
Way to slow heartburn

Mosquito bites suck
Before reaching for bite cream
Rub banana peel

Nervous about stuff
Vitamin B calms your nerves
It’s in Bananas

B6 and B12
Lessen nicotine withdraw'ls
Both in bananas